Oh Racing Heart

OK, so once more I have tried a more ‘Shakespeare’ feel to some of these words. I never know if I’ve over done it, used the words incorrectly, or made a t*t of myself. So please, feel free to comment, criticise, and correct where necessary. Thank you.
Oh, and I can’t work out whether or not it needs a third verse, but hey ho, publish and be damned as a far better man than me once said…

Oh racing heart,
what is this tempestuous feeling
so engendered by my loves
gentle touch?
Surely, this trivial fact
of skin on skin should not
vex thee so?
For in this slightest moment,
if thou art caused to
gallop as a stallion,
unfettered and unbridled,
across a storm clad beach,
what hope is left for thy
integrity when at last,
in evenings closing,
I taste the turning world
that is my loves
fair lips?

Oh racing heart,
you fire me, as the bellows
of Gods own forge would charge
the heavenly flame.
At just the sound of my love,
enthralled to pleasures hold
and whispering my name,
thy joy is unbound and
in that joy, you fill me
with such passion,
such roaring desire,
that this mortal frame in
it’s weakness would surely fail,
and in failing
release thy love,
to soar and ignite the stars,
and put the very sun
to shame.

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17 Responses to Oh Racing Heart

  1. Omg! Don’t really see what you could add to that in a third verse. Pretty much sums up love in two elegant verses. Shakespeare would be proud! 🙂
    You are certainly on a roll with the writing now. So glad to see that. Flowing beautifully.

    • Simon says:

      Now you’ve gone a little too far there dear heart.. Shakespeare would be proud? I think not. But thank you, once again, for being so supportive.

      • I knew Shakespeare well, I’ll have you know!
        He’d be well chuffed.
        Honour where honour’s due. It’s a lovely poem. Really doesn’t need a third verse in my opinion.
        But what do I know? 😉

      • Simon says:

        You know far more than me, as your prolific and skilled output will attest to. But thank you for your opinion on the third verse.

      • Shucks. *blushing* 🙂

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    I don’t know what to say. This is beautiful. I have to leave it at that.

  3. fibee5 says:

    I also find words difficult, just wow! 🙂 don’t think you should add anything

  4. toad (chris jensen) says:

    Wow, did he really write like that?

    • Simon says:

      Goodness he wrote far far better than I ever could. I just meant I wanted to try and use some words that he used to use… Thou, doth, etc.

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