The Dichotomy Of Light And Dark

They have come to me again tonight. Their haranguing voices, one in each ear, extolling the virtues of their own existence. It seems an age since I last had peace, their company has been present for so long I have given up hope of ever being left alone. I’ve even named them. “Dark” and “Light” I call them.

Light encourages. Light reassures and soothes. When Light speaks, it’s like I’m being filled up with liquid sunshine. It warms me, makes me feel that feeling you get, when you first realize you’re in love and your stomach flutters and your chest vibrates with the force of your heart trying to grow to three times it’s normal size.

Dark ridicules. Dark criticizes and terrifies. When Dark speaks, it feels like my insides are being strip mined, so I’m left an empty husk that collapses in on itself like a plastic bottle with all the air removed.

It would be better, you’d think, if Light were the only voice. If I could silence Dark and focus on uplifting, nurturing Light. But I’ve learned that you can’t have Light without Dark. The presence of Dark brings Light into sharper focus.

And if I were to lose Light, and Dark be the only voice I heard? I’d disappear into my own depths of despair, and all would be black, cold, and empty. But Light will not let Dark have the last word, Light constantly tells me how things could be. How I could be.

I think it would be better if I no longer had the companionship of either voice. I would not be filled with light and hope, but then I would also not be bombarded with negativity and evil. I’m scared you see. I’m scared that Dark is starting to drown out Light. Light is still there, still fighting the good fight on behalf of my soul, but I sense it’s getting harder for it to be heard. And what happens, if Light finally succumbs and all I’m left with is Dark? Who will I be? What will I be?

Is there a way to strengthen the resolve of Light? Is there a way to weaken Dark so that a balance is restored? I don’t know. It is beyond my ability to give Light more volume and quieten Dark. But maybe, in the end, that would be OK. If Light leaves me and Dark is all that remains, will I even miss Light? Or will I come to believe that Dark is all there ever was? And if that were so, how could I miss something that I was no longer aware was even there?

For now, I’ll live with the warring voices. I’ll try and listen more to Light and attempt to ignore Dark. Maybe that will encourage Light to speak clearer and Dark to quieten. It’s true I will continue without peace, but if I hear both Light and Dark, I know all is not lost for me, and no matter how quiet Light may speak, knowing it’s still there, in conflict with Dark, means I am not yet lost.

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2 Responses to The Dichotomy Of Light And Dark

  1. ‘I’m left an empty husk that collapses in on itself like a plastic bottle with all the air removed.’ Imagery like that – precious. What can I say? Another lovely piece, exposing a person’s innermost thoughts and fears and hopes.x

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